Monday, January 24, 2011

Lunar Festival

The Lunar Festival celebrates the Azerothians' victory over the Burning Legion in the War of the Ancients roughly ten thousand years ago. To make a long story short, the Night Elves, under the rule of their beloved queen Azshara, practiced arcane magic for a few thousand years and summoned a demon army, a mess which Malfurion, Illidan and Rhonin had to clean up.

Anyway, as in most wars, there was naturally a lot of slaying, and it is through slaying that we must uphold the tradition of the Lunar Festival - and don't let the Cenarion Circle have you believe otherwise - hugging trees and visiting Elders is the worst way of honoring our ancestors' sacrifice. 

Click on the Dark Legacy comic to the right to see just how painful it is for our Elders to deal with us, the idiotic players, every year.

Instead, head to Moonglade and slay rats in the dozens!

Getting there: use a portal (from Orgrimmar or Stormwind depending on your faction) to Mount Hyjal and fly northwards past Winterspring for a couple of minutes.

     Where to slay?

The red area represents an area full of NPCs such as rocket vendors and glaive-wielding guards of death. Don't make the same mistake Artturi did several times by attempting to gank there.

The orange area is of course Nighthaven itself - visited by many players but also heavily guarded. In some areas of the village there are only harmless level 65 guards, but the glaive-wielding motherfuckers are lurking as well, especially around the seasonal vendors - gank at your own risk.

The green area is the most interesting one. This is where players summon Omen, and this is where I performed the vast majority of my Moonglade kills so far.

"Hurt me? Hah! I know no pain, rat! Wait, what are you doing?.. OH MY GOD HE'S RAPING MEEE"
Above screenshot was taken in Nighthaven. I had attacked some warlock who flew away (sensible decision, albeit less fun for me), and decided to test the guards. I ran around for a bit, aggroing a level 65 Moonglade Warden or two. Then I approached the vendors and, well, it turned out rather ugly. Notice how the cuddly and harmless Warden's name is written in pink while the glaive-wielding maniacs are like, LUNAR FESTIVAL MOTHERFUCKING SENTINELS, BITCH!

With the arrival of flying mounts in Azeroth, we must find ways of adapting. Artturi and I made a habit of sapping players who landed with their flying mounts, after which I would do a stunlock (cheap shot and kidney shot) while Artturi shadow danced. 

The only ones who escaped this were the ones who were lucky enough for either of my stuns to miss.

You cannot always have friends backing you up, of course. Using the same tactic alone is difficult, seeing as you use most of your energy on stuns. Sometimes you get them because you get a few lucky crits, other times because they dismount out of sheer stupidity or... well, stupidity. 
To the right is a druid who had pretty low health, so he died midair. Again, out of stupidity some druids don't HoT midair, just like some choose names such as Stórmrage out of stupidity.

While things such as forgetfulness and nervousness can be attributed to such a mishap, I think it is more likely that it is once again stupidity that hinders you from using a spell such as Typhoon on a small roof. 

Anyway, I suppose it isn't very considerate of me to e-bully someone just because they choose the Warcraft equivalent of 'Légòlas' as their name. We'll just pretend that it's a lame attempt at irony and move on...

If you don't have access to sap and/or stuns, there are other ways of dealing with enemy players who have landed on the ground but are still on top of their flying mount. In fact, there are better ways: hex, polymorph and maybe even mind control.

How To Honor Your Elders Properly 101: hiding under Omen's corpse and ganking.

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